I had hoped to have a celebration for this, my 100th post, but this has been an incredibly difficult weekend for me and I’ve been trying to keep my chin up. Indeed, at one point, I thought that I’d be waking up and thinking that this was a particularly vicious nightmare. Attempting to live one’s dreams and failing to climb out of a particularly difficult rut could be the stuff of long-term, angst-filled trauma. I have to say though that I’ve managed to call on reserves of inner strength that I did not realize that I possessed, and so despite everything, I AM PROUD OF MYSELF!
I think, and you may disagree with me if you wish, that the measure of someone’s character is how (s)he reacts to crisis. I used to fancy myself as a leader, in my youth, but it is now that I’m facing some tough financial times (that WILL get worse before they get better) with a calm that even I can’t understand that I realize how much of my resilience I had lost, and how much of it I have regained.
I have thought about it a lot this weekend and I have come to believe one thing: that when we pray, we may not get the answer that we expect, but, if the have an abiding sense of peace and optimism, even in the darkest of times, then we have got the answer that we need.
I have learned some other lessons that I’m far too embarrassed to tell you that I had to learn, but suffice it to say, I have moved to the next level; I am waking up to the fact that I am not only stronger than I had imagined, I am also much wiser. I realize that I LIKE MYSELF; JUST AS I AM!!! It’s amazing, but I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I will be okay.
So, here’s to my next 100 posts! Cheers!